Sitting in this storm.

I talk and write a lot about how grateful I am for the opportunities I’ve had in my life to learn how to navigate discomfort. Those opportunities have time and again served as lessons for how to show up and get to work, even when I’ve felt inadequate, confused, and without a clear path forward. I’ve learned that there is no waiting for those feelings—the confusion and the discomfort—to go away in order to feel “ready” to get to work. When we are faced with the problem in front of us, we need to pack it all up and dive in—with it—and get to work. We have to try and stumble. We have to face our challenges and work toward solutions, and then assess, reflect, and try again differently, continuing onward. These lessons are critical and essential right now.

Last week, before the death of George Floyd and the Christian Cooper incident in Central Park, I had been exploring the idea (or maybe the boundary) between Acknowledgement and Acceptance. I was using it as a question in my classes as a means of self-exploration. Does mindfully acknowledging something (in this case, the distractions/vrittis/mind-chatter that come up during a yoga practice) mean we have an obligation to accept it? Or can acknowledgment be used as a tool for identifying patterns, and implementing constructive action to adjust the things we don’t want to accept—or the ways in which we want to grow?

Since then, after this week’s events I’ve been swirling. I’ve felt immobilized, small, and confused about what to say. And while this isn’t about my turmoil or angst, I do believe it is profoundly impactful for us to share how we are affected—both by the events in the world and in our lives. By our stories, personal experiences, relationships, milestones, failures, and so much more. It connects and humanizes us to one another in an important way. And I’ve been thinking more deeply about the power and implications of acknowledgement, and the complexities of acceptance.

What’s landed for me at this time is this: acknowledgment can be distant, external or impersonal, and carries a certain amount of universality. Acceptance is personal and internal. What we accept can weave its way into the fabric of our own identity and moral character eliciting much more complex and powerful emotions while evoking things like pride or shame. 

Acknowledgement is important, it establishes recognition. “I See You, You Exist, This Exists”. However, acknowledgment can also be a slippery slope into neutrality. Because we aren’t obligated to internalize or accept what we acknowledge, it is up to us, and therefore easy to stay comfortable, in our own lane, in our own normal, and move on. 

I don’t have a clear solution. Acknowledging the continued loss of black lives in America is essential. It isn’t new, and it is systemic and institutionalized. But acknowledgement isn’t enough. A hashtag, an image, a social media post is grossly inadequate. Acknowledgement is the first step, and it cannot be the last. It is time—long overdue—that our actions go beyond speaking to this problem and taking on new ways to move forward. We must actively seek out to uncover the blind spots many of us posses. We cannot wait for someone else to tell us how to move forward through these murky, dark places where we will feel uncomfortable. We have to learn, and unlearn. And, in the words of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, we must crawl our way forward  even when we cannot fly, or run, or walk, we must move forward.

Below are links you can find useful to pursue actionable steps forward.

https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/

https://www.blackvisionsmn.org/

https://www.joincampaignzero.org/